Mind you, long post.
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supiachao wrote:
I have joined D12 for 104 days, 796 games later, I thought I had enough of it.

I have lost the fun playing the game, it was not the same feeling as when I first joined. When I first joined D12 I know absolutely nothing about the game, death match, capital, domination are all new to me; even the game itself is new to me. Before I joined D12 I only played 3 rounds in a 6p on the Risk board game, I didn't even know the game exist before that.

The reason I joined D12 is because I need to play the board game version of Risk in a risk management class, and if I win I get up to 12% bonus points, and 12% bonus is too attractive for me not to do any research about the game. I played one or two game on other site playing bots and had totally no idea what I am doing nor how to win this game, then I thought it will be better if I can play with real people.

So, Google directed me into this beautiful place, I remember my first game, I was still very very clueless about the game, I quickly sign up for an account and start playing, and lucky me that I end up in a 6p, classic map, death map, chained, no fog. I got the idea how to play the game after some reading about the game and all, but this is my first game with real players, and everyone is really friendly. Shout out to Robben for offering training and help with game strategy.

I really felt the love from all the players I have played with, even in my first capital game when I clearly suicided on Clarke because I have the numbers to kill him and so I do it without much thought, he was nice not to report me or anything but instead left a very friendly chat messageto me on how to play it better and kill when you can have more than 5 cards.

The learning curve is not so bad for me, I won 5 out of my first 50 games! Considering the fact that I started from totally clueless playing all other players that clearly have more experience then me, I take that as I did pretty well.

It was then when I start playing team game with bosler and others and get to learn quickly about the core of the game from them.

I was new, but I was curious, humbled, eager and ready to learn from everyone. When I was new I just join whatever game is on the lobby, end up playing same time with descarado and getting frustrated and helpless because like all newbie, I start my turn fast, make my move fast and end my turn fast then see my region getting broken into the very same round. Then I notice these 2 players that are always in the same room, polopolo and sabo2711, and I approached them, they are really awesome players, when I say I am new and if I teamed with another player against them there is no chance I can win, they offered to let me partner one of them and the other will partner another player. It was from them that I learnt the trick of the same time game, 'Do not attack until the last 30 seconds' and 'break in region in the last second' It was absolutely great experience and one of my most enjoyable game time. Then I played with them for a long time.
 We start playing triad, and since same time game is too intense and fast paced, they told me they usually skype, so then we skype while playing too and because they are both French they have to speak English to me in skype and it was really fun. We spend the waiting time for a game to fill chatting, sometimes they will sing it was really one of the best memories in D12.

I consider myself really lucky to be able to meet so many great people here, and manage to connect with them talking more then just about the game, we are talking like friends.

Then, I can't remember exactly when but it started when I invited into a capital game which I am clearly not familiar with at that time, and then start making friends with Muzthebus and others when I was presented with the opportunity to play with all very experienced players, and I was welcomed really warmly to and extend where Muzthebus reduced his normal 1400 points limit to 1180 because at that time I only have 1182 points. I was very caution when I start playing with them because I really don't wanna screw up their game, for the first 20 games or so, I mostly screw up my own game because I dunno how to win when there are 2 or 3 players left in the game, even if I clearly have the advantage, unlike many other players I was too afraid to make a kill, my heart throbbing, my hands shaking, and my feet getting cold. Because I was so new and kinda clueless to how complicated capital game can be, all the players I am playing with are great, they tell me what I should do to win... next time of course.

And capital game is really hard to master, at that time I have to play many death matches to get enough points to get into Muzthebus game, like earning points in death matches then lost it all back in capital. But my first capital win is really awesome, it feels like I have finally accomplished something, it was the satisfaction and thrill from the game that makes it so exciting.

I also get to connect with many great players through the forum, especially aeronautic whom always reply to my thread. I read every post on the strategy tips and really learn a lot from it, rather unfortunate that not many players will read that. I got very obsessed with the forum until a point I think I might take this game too seriously. But again, I will say that the forum is a gold mine, if you don't come and mine it you don't get the gold, and surely missed out a lot if you are not checking the forum.

And it was also then when I think winning is everything, because the feeling of winning is really good, I then start to get more and more picky about the game that I will play and who I am going to play with because I don't want to lose an unreasonable move from an unexpected player. It was not the points that consume me, it was the winning sensation but not to the point when losing is too much to handle. Then frustration begins to build up when the dice just want to screw up my game so bad.

Good thing is, I get over that fast. I start too see that the fun of a game is not only about winning the game but about enjoying the game. I know that this might seem contradicting to the rule 'play to win' but some players can interpret 'play to win' to 'do everything you can out of desperation because you cannot die without a fight', so 'play to win' is a good rule only when players are logical and rational. At this point I realised that is what that keeps many players here for so long. I am not lying when I say that there are games where I lost but I really enjoyed the game to the extend where I feel really happy for the winner that he/she won. It might sound ridiculous but I bet many will understand that too. There are also games where I won but I was feeling really 'meh' about it because it was ripped off from another player because someone made a terrible move.

Of course, bad things happened too, but instead of cursing and swearing about the bad thing that happened in the game, I mostly cry, ( I guess I can get away with crying because I am a girl?) I got upset many times too, when people accused me for teaming when I am clearly not, when a player offered truce then kill a large number of my troops when he trades in, when a player over attack me in a fog game, and for many other reason, some might not be so reasonable. Why I can't be more graceful about it like the players I meet when I first join? Mostly because these players are not newbie, but are they thinking like one?

At this point I realised that the essence of the game is not in the winning, it is the whole process of it. And when I read this thread in the forum
http://www.dominating12.com/forum/?cmd=topic&id=572
I realised that each level players have a different definition of win and fun.

I am not enjoying this game like I used to, it upsets me, taking away the fun out of me, and it makes me wonder why do I want to put myself in such misery when the game is suppose to be fun? That is when I realised that I have to stop playing.

All I asked for is for myself to enjoy a game and seek fun in it, and may the best man win.

After a long day of pondering and reflecting about my days in D12 I realised that I put myself into the misery probably because everything I had learn about the game in 104 days overwhelmed me, it might takes another player probably a lot longer time to understand that much about the game, and it cost me my emotions.

Why should I punish myself for the stupidity and lack of sensibility and sportsmanship of another player when there are obviously so many other players that cared about me. Why should I care if another player decides to play poorly and thinks it is the best thing he/she can do? In the eyes of many other players that joined the site way earlier than I do, I am still a newbie that know very little about the game, and 'you cannot teach an old dog new tricks' my opinion will not matter to them because I am forever lacking in game experience.

When I think that the dice are helping a bad player to win a game and got upset about it because that move only pulled off because of the lucky dice, think twice about it, it is not a good thing on the long run. Yes, he/she might wins this game, but he/she will never learns that such move is a bad move. If he/she is not learning he/she is not improving, so just let it be.

There are so many great players here and all I focused on is that one bad apple? That is way too childish of me. Life is 10% what happen to me and 90% of how I react to it.

p/s: 2600 points in 104 days at D12 should be a pretty impressive thing to achieve given that when I started I know nothing about the game.
slackbatter wrote:
Will be sorry to lose you as a player, enjoyed the few games I played against you. Stop by for an occasional game if you're ever in the mood.
slackbatter is online.
Matty wrote:
Nice read. I recognize a lot of it.

And yes, you have to leave this site for a while.
Then, after a long, long time (say, two weeks, or two months if you're hardcore), come back and have fun again :)
"Strength doesn't lie in numbers, strength doesn't lie in wealth. Strength lies in nights of peaceful slumbers." ~Maria
aeronautic wrote:
I'm pretty sure that the very well written post is about supiachao's presumed need to leave and a change of heart due to the realisation of the positives D12 community has to offer?!

@supiachao you have an amazing ability to rationalise very complex things. There are a few other people here that have similar abilities and they are a pleasure to play at Risk, because they too know what you were learning and I believe, have now learned.

Just so that you are fully aware, I have had the greatest respect for your manner in both the forums & the game since the moment you arrived here.

That link to k_w_cheng's incite was also nice to read again, I wonder where they are now? I hope it's not a competitor site!
Hyd yn oed er fy mod Cymraeg , dim ond yn siarad Saesneg, felly yr wyf yn gobeithio y bydd y cyfieithu yn gywir.
The_Bishop wrote:
Nice speech Supiachao, I appreciated to read your description and I am happy to have met You.

Me too I had great emotions when I first joined the site! I cannot explain how great... Some games were so positively exciting (won or lost) that I couldn't sleep the whole night. Then one expects all the games to be like that but unfortunately it is not. Then I take a break and I come back when I get again the good feelings for playing. Also because I personally have 2 speeds only with D12: all-in or all-out; I can't menage to do a sober middle way! :S

Congrats for your "Risk" success! Though I think you are not the first one coming here knowing nothing about the game and doing a great escalation in a short time, but still congrats, actually not many could do that.

You get my honest "Good Luck Supia!"
«God doesn't play dice with the World» ~ Albert Einstein
supiachao wrote:
Thanks people!

When I first joined I never thought I would stay and play for more than a few games but somehow all the players kept me playing here for quite a long time.

When I read the forum all of you guys here are like the extremely good players I never thought I will be given the chance to play with you guys at all let alone getting recognised by all of you. Out of over thousands of active members, a newbie like me gets the chance to learn so much from all the respected players from this site, people from all around the world with difference background and all, and I am just a young girl seeking adventure with so little experience. There are things I've learn from everyone here even outside the context of Risk, and I am really thankful for everyone that I've played with for this awesome experience.

There are some very candid moments because I just can't control my honestly and fingers type faster then my brain can filter. I remember telling The_Bishop his avatar look like a scary immortal old man, and that didn't upset him, and we somehow become friend. Guess,that is luck. I make outrageously random comments in the game chat all the time and I guess that is just how I am. I will go to Matty's profile just to play with the eyeballs (hopefully he is not able to track that) for hours when I am bored and stressed.

And aeronautic amazing skills with the map and for me to learn that he self-taught himself that graphic skill is just unbelievable, and yet always so open with suggestion to change the graphic, even from someone totally new like me is really respectable.

The site reward me with luck beyond what the dice can measure for, although I am envy at those that always seems to get ridiculously nice dice but would I rather have a good roll all the time and never learn about the game as much, or have the experience I get with shitty dice?

After all the dice only measure for a roll, a round in a game or a game. Good or bad its impact will not last long, while I was so keen on the dice roll and on how bad players get good dice all the time, it is a sudden realisation for me that those players that played many games are not bothered about it because that is just how the game is.

Summer holiday just started, I will come back after I settle all the things I need to do like getting a summer job and moving. Well then, expect some positive energy from me when I am back. ;D


Matty wrote:
supiachao - Jun 25, 12:40 AM
I will go to Matty's profile just to play with the eyeballs (hopefully he is not able to track that) for hours when I am bored and stressed.
Hahaha, no, why would I track that?

When you're back, invite me in a game of yours (no capitals please) ;)
"Strength doesn't lie in numbers, strength doesn't lie in wealth. Strength lies in nights of peaceful slumbers." ~Maria
Sygmassacre wrote:
Although I can only slightly empathise with the situation you find yourself in because most of my time now is spent in the long term side of this site and I just jump on when a turn comes up, most that have taken this game even remotely seriously would be able to understand how you're feeling. If not from the same experience then certainly from the well thought out and and written post above. There are elements in it I can easily relate to and its clear you've taken to this game like a duck to water. At least you can be glad you've found a new skill (although you probably can only list Risk as a hobby on your C.V lol), or at least found a forum to use skills you already possessed. So hopefully you can come back after a break and find the enjoyment factor without the lasting effects of a bad game (what I call the "next game, please" attitude).

Hope to see you back soon, sayang :)
A Harmonic Generator Intermodulator
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